Merry Christmas!

From Satan's Little Helper:



I'm always excited when I discover Satan has sent me an email, especially a humorous video (his email is satan666@satancorp.com. Don't send him spam, though. SERIOUSLY, not if you like singe-free sexual organs). I had planned to get to this diabolic gag reel sooner, but Satan punished me for not replying instantaneously that I was ROFLMAO by smiting me with a piercing migraine (and I really mean "piercing"). Then he punished me for delaying my post by sending a migraine that is both piercing and burning. So I figured I better get on with it, but you'll forgive me if my typing becomes erratic and I suddenly sodjfalenga;pdsjz;sldngfaoiwprgbvoawefmn. Xos;asfnwernga;joasdj!

Sorry, that wasn't the migraine; I was typing in tongues (damned evangelicals think they invented everything).

I know you're probably asking, "Hey, Lucian, why is Satan so pleased by such a touching, devout and earnest Christmas message? Doesn't he play for the other team?" Well, here's the thing, whenever Satan sniffs out any attempt to step on the Constitution, limit civil rights, or establish a theocracy (aka, Diabolocracy) he feels a tingle in his naughty bits. And ALL Satan's bits are naughty. I just got a tingle in my naughty bits thinking about him tingling.

Also, Satan finds it hilarious that Bill Donohue of the Catholic League was offended by The Huckster's religiosity. Unintentional irony is Satan's favorite form of humor (well, that and Benny Hill slapstick). He was so amused by the falling out of two such hypocritical zealots that he accidentally set the Eisenhower Building on fire with his laughter (well, I say accidentally...).

Huckabunny's ad. was discussed this morning on The View. Satan loves to watch The View while he's drinking his morning cup of brimstone. Several of the ladies seemed to think that the magical floating cross was an accident. Clearly, it is a bookcase behind him. That's as may be, but one assumes that someone from the campaign actually looked at the ad. before it aired. Surely those people could see what everyone else can see. Anyway, the cross is pretty incidental. The piece is overtly Christian. Whoopi Goldberg saw nothing wrong with it. She said (and I paraphrase): "He said 'Merry Christmas.' Well, it's Christmas. He mentioned Christ's birth; well it's his birthday." Yes, Whoopi, and it's also a political ad.!

Well, I'll just leave you with these words of wickedness: asmndfvo;dsjvlaengfomnv;zsdfjzng;aovjbzshjnpvmz;dsofjgpaedrmgpdjgsengojgvsenrdfgjono;aw
sdno;sdmnvdsjfvonv;iodfnvg;sofjnvgo;ijg!!!!