Thou hast displeased me, New Hampshire. Thou hast brought down my curse upon thee. Henceforth, I shall send a fog of befuddlement upon the peoples of the earth, and they shall confuse thee with Vermont and Connecticut. Possibly also Rhode Island. People shall come unto thee, seeking cheddar cheese, maple syrup, the Charter Oak, and Woonsocket, and they shall be sorely disappointed. And, yea, those who seek granite, a free life, or death shall pass thee by.
Conversely, Iowa shall have my protection. No longer will the peoples of the earth associate it with potatoes, but rather they shall know it for, uh, its fine collection of white people, vowels and semi-vowels.
And, lo, as a further vent to my vengeance, New Hampshire, I shall send unto thee Chuck Norris, who will beat the snot out of thy citizens and smother them with his hair piece.
May this serve as a warning unto the people of Michigan and South Carolina.
Sincerely,
Satan, the Regent of Rage
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7 comments:
Dude, I'm glad I live in Texas. I know you're always with us here in Texas, whence came your favorite son. I just hope those scientists don't ruin your many blessings for us here as well.
And, please don't send Chuck.
Satan's blessing be upon Texas.
Ohhh, and I would not want to live in South Carolina right now!
Oh, Please don't give up hope, Lucifer. I wanted to email this to you; I thought you might want to blog it, but I guess you don't have email down there...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7xgtAWfSWM
Wait, that one disabled embedding. Try this one.
Your only fan (I'm lookin' to strike a deal,)
FB
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with Huckabee reviving his hopes for the presidency, will you be reviving this blog?
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