Hucka-WEEEEEE and EEEEK, it's The Coulter!

Man, am I tired out from all of that last minute Huck-stering I did in Iowa. I can't tell you how many people I drove to polling places or caucuses or whatever Iowans choose to call them. Naturally, I was in disguise. The burns from lugging that bible around will probably never heal.

Of course, Satan did his part too. You just wouldn't believe the way Rapture-loving Christians take to Satan. It's kind of touching, really. Fortunately for Satan, he never gets tired. Nope. He was all perky and ready for his weekly poker game with God. Apparently, God cheats; that's what Satan says anyway, and I would NEVER question Satan. It's that whole omniscient thing God has going--I mean who would bet against someone who's all-knowing? Well, Satan, obviously. Fortunately, Satan cheats, too. Duh.

Anyway, you know how guys get when they're sitting around, smoking cigars, drinking some brews and playing poker: they get to talking. About chicks, who they like, who they hate, etc. Turns out they both hate Ann Coulter. I've mentioned Satan's repugnance toward Ann before. He loves the deep dishonesty and the hypocrisy, of course. He just finds her creepy and unsavory.

Last time I discussed The Beast (I mean Ann, not Satan) I got a deeply disturbing comment from someone who apparently fantasizes about her (I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about such a thing, and by "a little" I mean Exorcist spewing). Someone else put an optimistic spin on such loathsome thoughts by suggesting that perhaps the fantasy involved legally shooting her as self-defense (see pic. of Ann with gun). I was forced to point out that she can't be killed by bullets, not even silver ones--according to Satan.

This got me to thinking, what is The Coulter? Clearly she's not human, and apparently she's not a werewolf, so what is she? Vampire? Robot? And how could we get rid of her?

Just pray to whatever you worship that she doesn't open those shapeless stick legs!