Hi! I'm Lucian Ba'al Helzapoppin, the Pat Robertson of Devil Worship. I accepted Lucifer as my personal Destroyer many years ago, and since then, I have had a close relationship with the Dark Master, may his name bring destruction. But I'm not here to talk about me. No, I want to tell you about Satan's Own Choice for President: Mike Huckabee. So, have a nice day, and keep sacrificing those babies!
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